Hi, can't find it in the settings. I would also like if there was some moderation on the forum so people could not get away with personally insulting someone and then deleting their post... but that's a separate issue!
6/24/12, last update 6/27/12
(2 years ago)
@RabbitWho: when people insult someone else and then they delete their post, (I think) they're admitting that what they wrote was wrong or inappropriate, so it might be a good thing - it seems better than leaving the forum with "negative words".
You are both extremely valued members of this community who bring a lot to other Memrisers - it would be a huge shame if either of your felt limited in your use of the forums.
I once read a study that looked at the causes of road rage, that compared the way that people could very easily navigate their way through crowded pavements of people walking in opposite directions. We can read other people's movements and responses without getting annoyed and so work out how to slip past each other without trouble. Sometimes we do misread and you find yourself going one way, then the other, then back again, then you both smile as you realise the mistake you have made and then you sort it out and go past each other.
But when you drive in traffic, you just see cars: and we aren't very good at reading car's body language. So sometimes we expect a car to do one thing, and it does another. And for some reason that experience is really annoying.
The point of my ramble is that I suspect a similar thing goes on with communication over forums: because we can't see people, can't read their reactions, can't benefit fromt he million little signals that we pick up on in usual conversations, we get a truncated form of communication. And for some reason that truncated form of perception leads far more easily to annoyance than does face-to-face conversation. Just as more people suffer road rage than suffer side-walk rage: although side-walks are actually often more crowded and difficult to navigate than roads, in terms of the processing that your brain is having to do.
I am not suggesting that either of you is suffering from forum-rage! But I do think that the insufficiency of the forums as a medium for discussion is highlighted byt he fact that two people who are undoubtedly trying to help everyone can run into conflict. Any suggestions for ways to improve that dynamic would be greatly appreciated!
I have a private theory that being able to record audio messages on the forum might help - you get so much richer information from a voice than you do from text. But sfrenchie, I am sure that you especially will be pleased to hear that I am not about to suggest we devote developer time to doing that just now!
Ah Ben, when I told you you were a diplomat!
Your analogy is excellent and I agree with it. I hate electronic communications because they are empty of mimics, sounds, mannerism and never convey properly our mood.
This being said I do not regret deleting my original thread because I think it had become a dead conversation. I do admit that I got very annoyed and probably too harsh towards RabbitWho therefor I am taking 3 steps to make peace with her:
1. I deleted my harsh comments in this current post
2. RabbitWho, I sincerely apologize for my harsh comments
3. Let's agree that we disagree...I let you all Google that, it's a great way to have conflicts out in the open without necessarily solving them. (I should have done that in the first place)
So let's get back to a peaceful forum and let's put aside our moods and bad feelings.
That's great Patrick! Thank you! I appreciate it. I'll do the same. And I'll try to put more clues about my tone in my writing in case I come across as argumentative, and if I read something as argumentative I'll try to assume it wasn't meant that way and give the person the benefit of the doubt.
Thanks Ben! That's a great analogy. I used to get pavement rage when I was too shy to look up at people's faces!
This is great to hear, thank you both for being so conciliatory. Friendly forums are definitely not the default on the internet (probably largely for the reasons above!), so it is something that we all have to work to maintain. As I said before, both of you are hugely valued contributors to Memrise, so I am very happy that you are both happy!
@Pilar, no, I haven't received the survival Portuguese spreadsheet - I was just about to get in touch about that actually. Could you possible send it again? Not sure what happened there, apologies for that!